blogged down Jacob

Hope

2010-04-01T17:22:00.001-07:00

During the time we were going to West-side Vinyard, Jessica had a garage sell. I didn't help out because that saturday was full of birthday parties. As for garage sells, it was a pretty horrible day. The sun was bright and the birds were chirping, but the money wasn't flowing in. But one paroozers happened let it out to my wife that she was a pastor's wife. Instant friends.

5 months latter, we found ourselves walking out of the church building. We were quite pleased.

Church Compromise

2010-03-31T23:02:00.000-07:00

I had a problem. I made a decision with my wife to regularly attend a church I wasn't 100% in love with. It's a great church that is a force of good in this world, but it just wasn't my cup of tea. I don't feel comfortable talking about why, because it seems so petty in the midst of all the incredible things they do, but the longer I attended the more discontented I grew.

There's a long story about how this happened, so I won't get into it, but I came across a pastor named Tim Chaddick who pastors Reality LA (Realityla.com). Unfortunately, I learned about him and the church after we committed to going to the West-side Vineyard. The reason I committed to going to the Vineyard was because I had given up on there being missional/kingdom minded churches close to where we live. It's kind of like going to a restaurant and ordering a meal, but then you realize 10 mins later that there's another menu that has exactly what you've been looking for. What do you do? My wife loved the Vineyard, so I decided to suck it up for her an the kids.

But then one Sunday Rachel was ill and Jessica graciously volunteered to stay home with her while Jonah and I went to church. Now why would I drive 30mins to a church I'm not thrilled with when I could test out Reality LA 6mins away? Jonah and I went. He had a good time and I instantly became a fan. The one problem....the one MAJOR problem, was that I knew it was a church that didn't suite my wife. I could just tell from our last 18 months of church searching that this wasn't her cup of tea. I ended up going a second time with both the kids while Jessica was away for the weekend and we all had a good time and I had another powerful experience.

Going those two times to Reality was like throwing miracle grow on my discontent with the Vineyard church. It was like taking a 2-liter of coke and putting it in your bicycle basket and riding over 1 mile of bumpy LA pavement. The pressure was building. I stopped holding in my satisfaction and talked to my wife more about it. She knew I wasn't 100% satisfied with the Vineyard, but now she was hearing how much i was discontented (every detail)

Next thing, the dominoes start to fall. It turns out just recently that the one good set of friends we met at the Vineyard decided to move back to Haiti. Jessica and I are both very sad about this, but snap (sound of scissors' cutting) goes our strongest ties to the Vineyard. There's another domino, but I can't talk about that yet without giving away the whole story...

So come Easter Sunday when we go to church you won't be able to find us at the Vineyard....nor will you be able to find us at Reality LA. No, you would have to search somewhere much closer to our home....

Church trouble?? what church??

2010-03-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned before, I settled. Jessica really liked a church... I wasn't completely satisfied, but I was tired of trying out new churches. I was tired of making my kids go to so many new children's programs and then telling them we're not going back. It's really hard looking for a new church. We've been in Los Angeles for 17 months and we still don't have a church community we're a part of.

Personally, I wouldn't mind trying out all the churches we've been too, but having kids makes it a lot more difficult. Jonah and Rachel grow attached to people or other kids so easily. And they don't forget either. Jonah is constantly asking to go back to a church we visited a year ago. "Dad, let's go back to the rock band church." (Oasis).

I just wish all churches posted sermons or their entire service online. That would help me out a lot. It would be nice to have a website too. Actually, I don't even go to churches without websites (or with really crappy ones). I know it's an assumption I make, but your website says a lot about your church. It would be very helpful to have a detailed description of what my children will be doing with your church. Let me know your philosophy, mission, and values (but only if they're actually lived). I want to see a church that is so passionate about their values/purpose that the leadership is active in applying those things to my children too.

I meant to write to tell you about how we've switched churches.... but I guess this turned into something else.

If the Church was a Car Maker

2009-11-13T20:28:00.000-08:00

if the Church was a car maker it would be General Motors. Interesting article on GM from the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/13/business/13auto.html. And I thought this stuff only went on inside church walls.

???

2009-09-28T18:04:00.001-07:00

How am I going to survive without my 3G network for a week?

Sent from my iPhone

South Daktoa

2009-09-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Did I mention I'm going to South Dakota?

We arrive today at 7pm.

guess...

2009-09-28T07:08:00.001-07:00

Guess where I'm going today....

Memorized Sermon

2009-09-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

This is my second week trying to retain the Sermon through memorization tricks. Last week, as you may recall, I didn't do too well. I couldn't even remember all of the major points. I couldn't remember the scripture reference. I spent some time thinking about how I was going to do it this week and I worked on a system. My system still needs some work, but I think it payed off.

It's 11pm on Sunday night and everything below will be what I remembered from the 11am service. The only thing not memorized is the verse quotation. The verse reference is memorized, just not the actual verse. As I said earlier, "My system needs some more work."

This Sermon was preached by Pastor Brad at Westside Vineyard

___________________________________________________________

Sermon: Love (part 2) (I definitely need to work on memorizing the title better)

1. We need to Value others as Jesus Values us. Scriptures
a. You determine somethings value by who created it.
- Luke 12:6-8-"Fear not: ye are of more value than many sparrows"
- 1st Timothy 4:4-"For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,"
- Ephesians 2:10- For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God before prepared that we should walk in them

b. You determine something's value by how much someone pays for it
- 1st Peter 1:19-but with precious blood, as of a lamb without spot, even the blood of Christ:

c. in order to value people we must truly see them and step out to them
- Psalms 27:10-I think this is the wrong verse reference
- Mark 6:34-And he came forth and saw a great multitude, and he had compassion on them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and he began to teach them many
- John 1:14-And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us (and we beheld his glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father), full of grace and truth

d. In order to value people we must listen to them
- John 14:18-I will not leave you desolate: I come unto you

2. Since Jesus had compassion and understanding for us, we need to have compassion and understanding for others.
a. Scriptures
- John 3:17-18- For God sent not the Son into the world to judge the world; but that the world should be saved through him. He that believeth on him is not judged: he that believeth not hath been judged already, because he hath not believed on the name of the only begotten Son
- Romans 15:7-Wherefore receive ye one another, even as Christ also received you, to the glory of God

3. Since Jesus Believed in us, we need to believe in others.
a. Scriptures
- 1st Corinthians 13:7-"beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things"
- Romans 15:1-2-"Now we that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each one of us please his neighbor for that which is good, unto edifying"

4. Since Jesus respected our freedom, we should respect others
a. Jesus did not try to manipulate or control others. He let them make choices.
- Great quick exposition of the prodigal son. The Father took the insult from his son (asking for his inheritance) and said, "okay".

5. Since Jesus served us, we need to serve others
a. Matthew 20:28-even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."
_______________________________

There were a lot of things I missed in my outline. There were times where pastor Brad would explain something in more detail, but there was a lot of information to take in and memorize, so can't recall it at this moment.

I actually saved the bulletin insert this week. If I have the time this week I'll show you how well I did.

Citizen Kain (part 2)

2009-09-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Citizen Kane had a hunger that drove him. He had wealth, women, and whatever he wanted, but his hunger was never quenched.

He hungered to be loved.

Being abandoned by his mother at a young age created that desire that was never filled in his life. He tried to buy love and friends, but he knew that that's not love.

There's a powerful story here. The human condition is beautifully displayed. The movie should make us reflect on ourselves. What drives me? What hunger am I trying to quench?

I wonder what could Kane have done to quench his hunger? Where could he find the security and love that was lost when his mother signed him away? What could he have done differently?

Throughout the movie, people speculate about Kane and what he meant by his last words, "rosebud." Many people in the movie hypothesis that it's something he lost. Roger Ebert, in the commentry, talks about how in the movie there's this them that happiness is there foreveryone, but it's fleeting. You can miss it. You can lose it.

What I like about this movie is that it doesn't give any answers. Knowing that Rosebud is a sled isn't the answer. The movie leaves us with a question: Where could Kane have found his happiness?

Citizen Kain

2009-09-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

Surprise, Surprise, the greatest movie ever made is pretty good. I've been meaning to watch this movie for some time, but I hadn't been able to bring myself to rent it. I truly thought it was going to be a bore. I thought that some old movie critics who are detached from reality chose this movie as the greatest because it was a classic and they had some sentimental connection to it and also because of the known rule that the greatest movie can't be a modern one but a movie that has stood the test of time.

The movie was good, but what makes it the best was the breaking of the normal movie mold. Orson Wells introduced so many new techniques in filming that changed the way movies are shot.

All you have to do is listen to Roger Ebert's commentary and you'll hear about Orson introducing deep focus, camera angles, handheld video recorders, lighting tricks, editing styles, etc...

I got the impression that this is considered the greatest movie ever, not only for the story, but for what it did for the movie industry and how it changed the way films were done.

I can buy into that. I have no problem agreeing with the critics.

This could be the greatest movie ever.

I'll share more thoughts about the movie next time.

Jonah's NEW School (part 3)

2009-09-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

Even with the detailed mission and goals of Jonah's new school, I was still a little nervous on that first day transfering Jonah to Los Feliz Charter School for the Arts. Changing school. Not being their from the beginning. Coming in after everyone else is already settled. Plus, Jonah was really scared/nervious. He wasn't looking forward to starting another school again. We arrived early, filled out tons of paperwork as my two kids climbed things they shouldn't have climed and ran places they shouldn't have ran...

We specifically asked the admissions person to put Jonah in the class of a girl he knew from his preschool days at Los Feliz Corners. It was this girl's mother who remembered our earlier conversation about missing the lottery drawing for all the charter schools, and on the first day of school found out that there were two empty spaces in the school and sent us an e-mail.

Luckly, one of the empty spaces was in his friends class.

All the kids were sitting around the lunch table, so we walked Jonah over so we could meet his teacher. As we were talking to his teacher, Jonah's friend came over with another girl who went to Los Feliz Corners Preschool and both the girls began to yell,

"Jonah! Jonah! Oh my gosh! I can't believe you're here! Jonah! Jonah! It's sooooo good to see you."

My nervous son suddenly had a huge grin on his face and the next thing we knew he was sucked into a crowd of students and ready for his mom, dad, and sister to leave.

How can that not make a parent happy.

Jonah's NEW School (part 2)

2009-09-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

Jonah's new school has this as a goal:

"The Los Feliz Charter School through the Arts will provide a learning environment that

allows our students to be thinkers, creators, and constructors; an environment that allows

the students to learn through their search for understanding; an environment with an

inclusive community that nurtures the intellectual, social, and creative growth of all

students, staff, and family members."

There's a lot of heavy words in there. Heavy, meaning words that carry a deeper meaning and need to be defined. Don't worry, they further explain this. It's not hard to find on their website. They also have a list of core values.

Focus on the whole child
Project-based curriculum
A constructivist approach
Child-centered learning
On-going Professional Development
Diverse assessments that evaluate multiple intelligences
Learning Through the Arts
Learning In the Arts
Conflict Resolution
Service Learning
Programs for Special Needs Inclusion
Technology
Authentic Parent Involvement:
Sustainability

Online, they have this list along with a paragraph that further explains each core value. When reading this for the first time I immediately strongly connected with about 5 of their core values. We share some core values. That's awesome.

Even though we missed ordination (and we will be out of town for back to school night), I've picked up from this school that these aren't just empty words. Their goals and core values are transparent throughout their organization.

And if you want more reading with more details about every little aspect of that they are doing and why, you can read their petition to the state to be considered a charter school.

Ultimately, I feel safer having my child go here, where everything is laid out and clear, then to a school where their goals and values are not very clear and may not be shared by everyone in the organization.

But there's one thing that clinched it for me..... I'll share that with you next time.

Jonah's NEW School

2009-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

That's right, we transfered Jonah to a charter school after going to his previous kindergarten for only three days. It was sad to transfer Jonah. I loved the cultural diversity of Los Feliz Elementry (there were over 20 different languages spoken at his school), but in the end we decided it wasn't the best place for Jonah.

One major factor is that I am not too clear as to what the culture (values and goals) of Los Feliz Elementry school is. On their website the principle writes this:

"Our goal at Los Feliz is for every child to achieve his or her fullest potential, meet state learning standards, and to nurture the unique talents that lie within each student"

I like that goal, but I'm not sure about their values. I'm not sure how they're going to accomplish their goal. The only place I found this statement is on their website. I never came across anything that has to do with their philosophy of education in any of our orintation material. I didn't get the sense that there was a powerful goal and values driving their school. I could be totally wrong, but how do I know?

Next I'll share about Jonah's new school.

What Church?

2009-09-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

After almost a year of trying out different churches, my wife and I finally settled on Westside Vineyard. The service had begun, and everybody was singing and worshiping God, except me. I was standing there trying to sing, disappointed in my decision to settled on a church that I wasn't 100% what I wanted. But looking up onto the platform, the pianist had stopped playing the piano in middle of a song and had picked up a Violin.

What is it about the sound of a Violin that I love so much?

I can definitely live with this.

Sunday's Sermon

2009-09-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

I always get strange looks when I pull out my iPhone during church. I imagine people (or the pastor) think I'm texting during the message, but if one would look over my shoulder one would see that I'm jotting down sermon notes. It saves me bringing a pad and pen to church (hey, when you have two kids it's nice to have free hands---so you can end up caring all of their things).

Yesterday, I decided that I needed to work more on my memorization skills, so I put away my phone and see how much I could remember. Here it goes... to the best of my memory.

Sermon Series: 40 days of Love

Sermon: Love

I. Introduction

A. Introducing the series

B. Love should be our ultimate goal because it should be our motivation behind everything we do.

II. Reasons Love should be our ultimate goal

A. Love unites us with God

B. Love covers our sins

C. Love _______

D. Love is forever

1. the things that we remember and want when we're on our death bed are the people who love us and not the things we've accumulated

III. Defining Love

A. Love is the will and act of extending our selves for the another's well being.

IV. Other Important things about Love

A. Love comes from God

1. 1st John 4:7-8

B. Love is the Root of Grace

1. Collisions 3:1-4??

2. 1st Corinthians something...probably 13?

C. Love is a Choice and a Commitment

D. Love

Next, I'll check the bulletin insert to see how I did.

Jonah's School Revisited

2009-09-12T06:36:00.000-07:00

It's been 2 days since I wrote about Jonah's school (one day since you read it), but after the completion of the first week I may have changed my mind.

I don't have a long list of why, just a gut feeling of uncomfortably

Here are few reasons that add together:

-Jonah is in school for 6/hours a day. How much of that does he get to run around and play? Not much. I'm not sure little 5 kids are meant to sit down for that long
-There's something in his voice when I pick him up that disheartens me. Over the summer Jonah went to a preschool/kindergardten. He came home full of joy, he had always learning something new, ad he always wanted to go back. Maybe this might change with time.

There are some things I like about the school. I've mentioned a few before, but here's some more.

-It's close to where we live (I can't wait to get my bicycle fixed so I can ride to pick him up.)
-Jonah's teacher is very nice
-I'm impressed with what he's learned so for in the first three days
-Everybody in the school gets free lunch and breakfast if they want
-He's starting to make friends.

Ugghh....What to do?

Jonah's School

2009-09-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

Everyone I've talked to has had bad things to say about Jonah's elementry school. Bad test scores, the kids are rough, they harvest children's kidneys, etc...

Also, everyone we know has found a way to avoid the school and send their kids to much "better" schools.

I'm not worried about my son. Here's why:

Everybody wants what's best for their kids. People in Los Angeles are even more intense about it. Best school, best clothing, best food, etc. I don't always agree with what's "best" is best.

What I like about Jonah's School is that the best, richest, and must affluent families don't go there. Jonah gets to interact with kids & families who are dirt poor, who don't speak English very well, who don't have the connections or resources to get their kids into a "Better" school.

These are the types of people that are generally marginalized in our society. I'm hoping that this is the best school where Jonah will start to grow the seeds of connections, empathy, and love. I don't want Jonah to grow to value and want what's always the "best" and the "greatest". I want his heart lean to the weakest, the marginalized, the oppressed.

I'm hoping this will make him a better person in the end.

Maybe I'm over analyzing this. It is only kindergarten.

Jonah's School

2009-09-11T08:18:00.000-07:00

"You don't want to go there!".

"That's a bad school"

"You've got to try a charter school"

"They've got bad test scores"

"It's one the worst schools in the area"

Just a sample of people's comments over the last few months about Jonah's school. Honestly, It doesn't bother me.

I'll explain why in my next post

Jonah's Homework

2009-09-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

First homework assignment: write your first name four times. It took him 20 mins! After every letter written Jonah would start telling me a story or playing with a little rock. I kept on reminding him that we were going to play games when he was done, but that didn't work.

After writing his name 3 times he finally said to me, "Dad, every time I stop writing and start doing something else then you got to tell me, 'come on and finish,' and then I'll say,

'okay, okay, okay, okay.'"

He finished!

My Son's First Day of School

2009-09-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

"I'm nervous in my stomach" said my son as I took him to school. It was his first day of school and he had been telling me for the last week that he doesn't want to go to school and in its place he wants to home school.

As we talked on the way home I asked Jonah why he didn't eat the snacks we sent with him. His answer: "I was too nervous."

"Did you have a good day?" I asked.

"Yes, It was a little fun."

Mosaic

2009-08-12T16:53:00.000-07:00

When we first moved to Los Angeles, we tried out Mosaic Church. I had read many of the founding pastor's books and heard him speak at a conferance a while back and loved every minute of it.

So I was excited.

There are two things about this church that I have not been able to find equals to.

First: Music
Their quality of music has been unmatched in my search for a church. There were many moments where I would just close my eyes and let the words soak in. There were many moments where I would encounter God during that time.

Second: The Arts
Our first Sunday they had a full blown musical/dance production that went for 30mins. It had it's tie-ins with the message, but I was blown away by it. Truly impressive. I loved how they had dance-skits (i have no idea what they're called). One week they had someone painting during the service. They were truly artistic.

Third: The Message
What makes Erwin McManus special is the incredible intellect and thoughtfulness that goes behind his message. I have not been to another church where every message was so powerful and direct. God really used him to open my heart, speak to me, and hopefully change me.

So why don't we go there anymore? Two reasons: it's kind of far away (the one that meets close to us doesn't have anything for kids), and for the second you'll have to ask my wife.

Valley Vineyard part 2

2009-08-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

We spent a few months attending Valley Vineyard Church in Reseda. I just shared about all the aspects of the church I enjoyed, but I always knew that I couldn't settle there.

One of my favorite aspects about this church was their community focus. They had this them which was mentioned over and over again: "Mission Reseda." Every week they talked about different ways to make a difference in their community.

As much as I love changing one's community, it was this that I couldn't shake. I live in Los Angeles (Los Feliz), and my heart is not in Reseda, but the city I live. I couldn't put my heart into mission Reseda, because my heart is here where I live. So as much as I appreciated the church I couldn't stay.

Valley Vineyard Church

2009-08-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

We spent a few months attending Valley Vineyard Church in Reseda. Honestly, we went there mainly for my wife. She loved the music aspect of the service. I really enjoyed the Bagels with cream cheese they served before and after the service.

Don't get me wrong, Valley Vineyard was a good church.

I loved how they prayed. After going to a variety of churches I noticed a difference in their prayers. They weren't rambling, and using a bunch of overused terms, but they prayed from their heart. Their prayers were deeper and moving. I really appreciated the thoughtfulness of their prayers.

I enjoyed their worship music. They were good.

I enjoyed their bagels and cream cheese. Did i already mention that? Well, did I mention that the kids loved their muffins and apple juice? And my wife loved their coffee? If only every church had bagels and cream cheese. Oh, and these weren't old bagels either....they were good ones.

I highly respect their pastor. He appears to be more of an introvert, but he is very good at communicating and teaching throughout the service.

So, why did I not want to continue....

I'll answer that next time....

Oasis Teaching

2009-08-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

We visited Oasis Church this past Sunday and so I'm sharing a few thoughts from our experience.

I'm dissapointed that we missed most of the singing worship aspect of the service, so I can't comment on that part. The lead pastors were not there (it's a husband and wife co-pastor team), so they brought in a guest speaker.

From my understanding, Churches like this only bring in speakers who align with their vision & style. I can't remember his name, but you can probably find the message here (on their website). I was encouraged and motivated by the message. He spoke on having an unshakable faith and challenged me in areas that I'm lacking.

Oasis Music

2009-08-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

We visited Oasis Church this past Sunday and so I'm sharing a few of my thoughts.

After visiting many churches these last few months, it wasn't hard to notice the music at Oasis. It had nothing to do with the decibel level or quality, but that they never stopped playing. We missed most of the worship, because we were late and then had to take the kids to their rooms, but during the announcements the musicians kept on playing. They didn't stop until the sermon started and then they picked up as the Sermon was ending.

I liked it. It kept a flow going.

Oasis Kids part 2

2009-08-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

As mentioned before, we visited Oasis Church. Just like Westside Vineyard, Oasis had the kid room to die for. Walking to the room, my son Jonah, could see a huge room with different video games lining the wall. Oh come on.... You want me to go to church while my son plays video games????? Since we were late, Jonah didn't get to play any games, but he did get to sing with a rock band.

Even without video games Jonah still had a blast.

Oasis Kids

2009-08-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

As mentioned before, we visited Oasis Church. Just like Westside Vineyard, Oasis had the kid section blocked off so only parents and children could go back. Unlike Westside Vineyard, you needed a pass to get back there. When dropping off our kids, i noticed the sign and a man standing there. I thought he was just a greeter, but no, he's much more. When I dropped of Jonah, they gave me a card and told me that I'll need the card to get back to pick him up.

On my way out I saw an older child try to go back and the guy standing there stopped him. I was impressed. I very much appreciated the security.

More on my experience later.

Visiting an Oasis

2009-08-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

Today we visited Oasis Church. We're looking for a church that is relatively close to where we live that fits a certain criteria. You can definitely tell that Oasis is set up for first time & second time guest. There were plenty of signs. They had many people in red oasis shirts that helped you where to go and where you can sit. There was not once during the service that I wondered what I should do or where I should go.

Also, during the service they had everybody fill out an identity card. They really wanted everybody to fill out a card! If you didn't have one, they had ushers going up and down the isle with extra cards and pens. I left my card next to my son's class room, and I felt awkward being the only one not filling one out. Why do they make sure everybody fills it out? simply so the first and second time guest don't slip through the cracks.

Later I'll share more thoughts on my experience.

Do Not Enter

2009-08-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

We've been going to Valley Vineyard these last two weeks. I don't know why i appreciate it so much, but they have these signs at both enterances to where the children classes are that say, "Only parents of children are allowed past this point".

I doubt there's much enforcement here, for who knows whose a parent or not, but I appreciate the sign.

The Giant Playground in the Sky

2009-08-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

We've been going to Westside Vineyard the last two weeks and i still can't forget my first impression of the kids program. We had to ask a person where to take our kids, because the signs were not clear, but once we were pointed in the right direction it was no problem. I walked into the room for my 5 year old son (Jonah) and was taken back by the giant playground inside the building. It was incredible! "I Cannot Believe It!"
Do i really need to tell you if my son enjoyed his experience? I thought not. Do I really need to tell you how at peace I was about my child having so much fun? Okay, maybe i was a bit jealous, but when my son is enjoying life I am enjoying life.

Falling Trees

2009-08-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

Our neighbor's tree collapsed Sunday and fell on top of an SUV from Arizona. I was worried the car belonged to one of our customers, but luckily it didn't

Churh Eruption

2009-08-02T15:22:00.000-07:00

My wife and I have been in L.A for 10 months. We still haven't settled on a Church. For the last two weeks we've been going to Westside Vineyard. As the service was winding down and the band was playing the closing song, the mood of the place was somber. The congregation had just finished taking communion during that last song, so we were all in contemplation mode.

The worship leader ended the song and looked out to the pastor giving him a nod as if saying, "okay, close in prayer now." I didn't see the response of the pastor, but it must of conveyed the message of, "do another song," for the worship leader looked a little shocked and unprepared. She flipped through a few pages trying to find something to play and then started playing Everlasting God.

She started with the chorus, and when she started singing the congregation erupted. I felt as if the whole community really needed to celebrate, worship, and sing praises to God. It's as if a switch was flipped and we needed to celebrate the experience we just had with Jesus during communion. It was beautiful.

Best Birthday Party Ever...

2009-05-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

Jonah was invited to a friends birthday party. It was at Naya's Garden, which is a cool local indoor play area for kids. The kids had everything they needed: play area, other kids, juice boxes, cake, etc.... And the parents had everything they needed: beer & wine.

Metro

2009-02-01T21:30:00.001-08:00

I Love cities that have Metro Rails (or whatever you call it... The Tube, The L, The Max, Subway, etc..) I much more prefer walking and taking the Metro rail than any other form of transportation.

Sometimes when you drive everywhere you never really live in the city, but just float above it in a bubble. You miss so much. That's why the L.A Metro is so special. You don't float above anything, but you go down to it's gut. It's not the prettiest, but it's pretty cool.

Jessica is different. She's not a big fan of the Metro. I think she's worried about our safty (muggings, murders, rapes...). I wonder what's the statistic between people who die in car accidents and people who die in the Metro stations?

I think I would win that one.

The picture above was taken on Jessica's Birthday. That's right, I took her out on the Metro for her birthday.

Simplify

2009-02-01T21:13:00.000-08:00

I've must have started 10 blogs since 2007. Each blog had something to do with me. It just got out of hand. Writing about being a pastor.... the books I read.... being an Inn Keeper.... being a father.... posting my sermons....

Let's simplify things.

Let's do it here.

Rain

2008-12-16T22:56:00.000-08:00

My kids had a fun day yesterday after the stopped. They both went out our back stairs and found a little puddle and jumped around. Unfortunately, our water heater shut off and only lit it back up 20 mins before the kids came back in. They were cold and wanted a hot bath, but all they got was 2 inches of luke warm water.

Cleaning time

2008-12-16T22:46:00.000-08:00

I have a lot to catch up on, so I'll try to do that later. Today, our cleaning lady couldn't come in, so I decided to clean one of our units. This isn't something I usually do, but it is something an Inn Keeper should do at least once. It took me a long time, but I guess that's expected for my first time. I'm no super-cleaner....

Here are some before and after shots of the "Red Casita"

Elections

2008-11-04T08:44:00.001-08:00

There's a lot of hype about today. As one person said, "The peer pressure to in my whole life (including high school) is nothing compared with the pressure i feel to vote in this election." A lot of people are dissapointed with our president, with the economy, and with the general state of our nation.

People are calling this a historic election. Why? because people believe that this election will take our nation to a brighter future. People believe in the candidate they're choosing and they believe in their vision. The candidate will lead them out of the current state of our nation and their life.

I think this is natural for practical atheists (a term coined by Craig Groeschel to describe people who live life as if there is no God even if they claim to believe in one.) For people who don't believe in God and are stuck in a state of discontent (where they can't get out) they will look for a savior. This election isn't about a president, for many people it's about finding a savior (someone who will put this nation and their life back on track).

This explains the hype. This explains the hope.

As a follower of Jesus, I don't believe a president is the best way to change a nation. My hope is in Jesus. My hope is in Jesus working in you and in me and change our nation one person at a time....one family at a time....one community at a time....one city at a time.... My hope for a better future doesnt lie in policy or legistration..... oh, no... It lies in a true Savior.

Welcomed...???

2008-11-04T08:37:00.000-08:00

I went out to my car yesterday because we were moving from living with my parents to a temporary condo near where I will be living on Nov 15 (a lot of moving around) when i noticed something strange on my car. At first I thought it was bird poop, but as i got closer i realized it was sour cream, salsa, bread, peanut butter, and eggs smothered all over my car.

was it an enemy of my parents?

was it an old enemy of mine who find out i had returned?

Was it a Halloween trick?

or just a L.A. welcome?

note: i forgot to take a picture....sorry

change

2008-10-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

I'm no longer employed by First Church of God in Rapid City.

My last day of work and my last day in Rapid City, SD, was Sunday, October 19th.

Today, I am in California.

Old Tap Mix (part 1)

2008-09-09T21:21:00.000-07:00

1. Black by Pearl Jam
2. W.M.A by Pearl Jam
3. Two Steps Behind You by Def Leppard
4. Dumb by Nirvana
5. Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins
6. Creep by Stone Temple Piolets
7. Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden
8. Stay by Lisa Lobe
9. No Rain by Blind Melon
10. Can’t See (useless) by Oingo Boing0
11. Mary by Oingo Boingo
12. Cats In the Cradle and the Silver Spoon by Ugly Kid Joe
13. Mr. Recordman by Ugly Kid Joe
14. Far Behind by Candle Box
15. Cover Me by Candle Box
16. He Calls Me Home by Candle Box
17. Self Esteem by Offspring
18. Come Out And Play (Keep 'M Separated) by Offspring

Music

2008-09-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

when I was younger I loved music. Music touched my soul. It gave my heart lips. But something happened over these last five years.... I stopped listening to music. I stopped caring about music. Seriously, I slowly stopped listening to music. I would listen to audio books or NPR but I couldn't sit through a CD of any music.

I've also slowly stopped enjoying playing music. playing guitar became something I do for Church, but my passion for playing stopped. I used to love playing the piano, but now it's not the same. I've also found it harder to worship through music.

I don't think it's a coincidence, but ever since I started contemplating resigning as pastor, music has began to infuse with my blood again. I'm in the middle of cleaning the kitchen. Usually I would be watching Arrested Development off of Hulu.com or listening to an audio book, but here I am listening to an old mixed tape I made when I was in High School.

Can someone explain this to me?

Spiderman 4

2008-09-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

I can't wait.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/eonline/20080905/en_celeb_eo/27601

MOVIE: Traitor (part 2)

2008-09-05T22:07:00.000-07:00

Manipulation is another theme from this movie. At one point in the movie, Don Cheadle mentions how he doesn't feel at home anywhere. In the movie Don is a child from an American mother and an African father (both Muslim) and both sides desire to use Don for their mission. I really felt for Don throughout this movie because the choices he was presented with where horrible. He was stuck in a situation that pushed him further than he ever desired to go. Both sides gave him the same speeches to encourage him on with their mission.

Don plays a devout Muslim. He is caught off guard by how the terrorist leaders manipulate the Koran to justify their suicide bombings. At the end of the movie, Don desperately tries to tell his terrorist friend that both of them were used by the radical Muslims...both of them were manipulated.

Now this was something I could relate with. Being a Christian i have experienced many Christians use scripture to manipulate people. I have seen many leaders read their own meaning into scripture in order to justify their actions. We probably don't have to go any further than the crusades, the advocating of slavery, or racial segregation. If you catch me on an honest day, I'd probably admit to doing this at one point in me life (any time I have an argument with my wife).

Now this movie is about Muslims. This movie portrays that people like Don Cheadle are the real Muslims, while the terrorist are the extremest. I read an article from the magazine "Foreign Policy" that talked about the PR different agencies are doing portray Muslim activist as extremest. They are glossing over the differences and focusing on the similarities. These people have been trying to set in stone that the normal Muslim is like Don Cheadle in this movie. The author of this article (which i talked about in an earlier post here) says that glossing over our differences is dangerous.

There's a psychologist named Theordore Dalrymple who wrote a book about the worldview of Great Britten's underclass. Theordore Dalrymple is not a Christian (he actually writes against religion). Theordore has spent his time working in the emergency room and prisons of England. He has come to understand the worldview of the people he comes across. One of the common belief in the U.K is that we can have a melting pot of cultures and all be in peace. Theordore will tell you story after story of why this isn't the case and then he'll show you the emergency records to prove it. He'll tell stories of Muslim women who were beaten and killed because they didn't want to marry who their parents chose. He'll tell stories of young Muslim men who kill the non-Muslim guy who slept with their sister in order to bring honor to their family. He'll tell how these murders are hailed as hero's and not villains.

I believe we should do everything we can to have peace with each other. I believe that two cultures can co-exist together. I believe that is what we should all work towards, because that is what it will be like in eternity. Scripture tells us that every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. In the Hebrew Scriptures Isaiah talks about every nation coming to the mountain of the Lord to worship him. I fear that true peace will not come until we all submit to one Lord.

MOVIE: traitor

2008-09-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

I enjoy movies. Movies are made to entertain, which most movies accomplish, but every once in a while you get a movie that moves you. I'm not talking about those cheesy romantic comedies that try to manipulate your emotions, but the movies like the Shawshank Redemption, 3:10 to Yuma, or Reign over Me. It generally takes me a few days or weeks to work through what I'm feeling because the movie connects to many different areas of my life.

Today my Jessica and I went to watch Traitor. I was moved by this movie.

If you haven't seen the movie than don't read on. If you're an observant movie watcher than you would catch the hints early on, but if you're not than I'm ruining the first half the movie. Don Cheadle plays a character who supplies detonators & bombing supplies to terrorist. During the first half of the movie, while we still believe Don is an opportunist who supplies materials to terrorist, we are blessed to watch the formation of a friendship between Don and Said Taghmaoui, who plays another terrorist.

Here are two people, who are a part of something very wicked, yet their friendship is beautiful. Friendship at it's core is virtuous. There was something delightful about these two wicked men's friendship

No matter how much a person says they reject God, you can't run away from his character. No matter how evil you intend to live, you cannot choose to be completely consumed with evil. It's impossible in this world. Even the most wicked of people need and crave different attributes of God. friendship is just one example, because friendship is made up of love and trust. God at his core is relational because God is love. To live a life completely devoid of God and his attributes is to live a life devoid of relationships.

2nd Thessalonians 1:9 talks about hell:

They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power

Hell is eternity without the presence of the Lord. Hell is a place without any of the attributes of God: no relationships, no pleasure, no joy, no kindness, no peace, no satisfaction.

James talks about how every good and perfect gift comes from God. Hell is devoid of all that is good. Many people talk about going to hell to be with their buddies and partying, but I think a lot of people will find hell more like solitary confinement than a rave.

I guess you can say that this movie got me thinking about friendships. That's just one of the reasons I enjoyed it.

Chester

2008-09-04T12:21:00.001-07:00

as the church was looking through a list of potential pastors 5 years ago, Chester came across my application and heard God's voice tell him that I was the one. Chester was my greatest supporter. He prayed (and still does) for me every day, stopped by the office frequently to encourage me, and always spoke positively into my life. Even when there were things he didn't understand or agree with me, he submitted and trusted my relationship with God.

There was a time when he had cancer that I really wondered if I could continue as a Pastor here without him.

In the last year or so, Chester's health had declined. He had cancer (which God took away), heart problems, and then some general stuff. We fell out of the habit of talking. He didn't stop by anymore, he no longer came early on Sunday Mornings to pray with me, and we stopped having meaningful conversations.

Ever since I resigned as pastor of First Church of God it's been like I've got the old Chester back. I forgot how much I enjoyed him. He stops by, we talk (really talk), he speaks encouragement into my life.

I'm going to miss Chester

busy

2008-09-03T14:29:00.001-07:00

I've been busy...

my computer was hurt...

Systems

2008-08-29T09:11:00.001-07:00

As I take time off from pastoral ministry i plan on evaluating a few things. One of the areas I plan to evaluate are the church systems I use. It wasn't long ago that I had no idea what systems were or that I was even using them, but as I read blogs and attended a church planters conference I started to hear that word a lot.

Just as a human body has multiple systems that work together (digestive system, respiratory system, circulatory system, etc..) the church is made up of different systems that all work together to fulfill it's mission.

Nelson Searcy talks about how there are 8 church systems we need to think about.

The weekend service system
The evangelism system
The assimilation system
The small group system
The ministry system
The stewardship system
The leadership system
The strategic system

Nelson points out that I already have a system set up, but it's a broken system that isn't giving me the results I want. I'm getting the results my system is set up to give.

One of the questions Nelson asks concerning the stewardship system is "How do you know when someone gives a gift for the first time? How do you respond?" Wow, I never thought about that.

Nelson sells information on all of his systems on his website. He also provides an Info document about systems for free. Just click here

1 John 3:10ff Sketch

2008-08-25T12:44:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning we looked at 1 John 3:10-20 and listened to John talk about passing from Death to Life. In this passage, John uses Cain as a symbol for death and Abel as a symbol for life. After going through Genesis 4 (the story of Cain and Abel) and 1 John 3 and finding the characteristics of those in Death and in Life, I drew a sketch to help me apply what we learned.

Here's the sketch with the application.

Do you words carry weight? Do they have integrity? Do you say what you mean or do you use your words to get what you want?

Is your heart empty? Do you feel for others? Do you have compassion? Empathy? Pity? When you see people in need is your heart cold?

Or is your heart full of junk? Is it full of anger or hatred? Are there people you don't love?

Are you a giver or a keeper? Jesus calls us to the greatest form of giving by laying down our life for our brother. Is your life known by this calling? Do you only give if you expect to receive something in return? Do you only give when you feel like it?

Is your heart condemning you? Do you have peace with God? Is there tension between you and God? Do you feel like something is amiss? You may have justified everything in your mind, but you can't escape the conviction from your heart. What is your heart telling you?

Romans 1 sketch

2008-08-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

I promised to share a few of my sketches from scripture. These are ways of communicating concepts through pictures. I was reading Romans 1, 2, and 3 when I started sketching out what I was reading.

I decided not to take on every detail that Paul was mentioning, but to focus on a general thread that ran throughout the three chapters

This is a Gentile

Paul talks about how God's wrath is being poured out against Gentiles who suppress the truth by their wickedness which is dipected by this gentile trampling on the Law.

Gentiles should know better because the Law is written on their hearts...

even though they've never heard it

The Jewish people are not much different than the Gentiles

Like the Gentiles, they too have the Law in their hearts,

But unlike the Gentiles, they have also heard the law and know the law.

Even though the have been given the law they still break it just like the Gentiles. Truly no one is righteous.

The Gentiles see the wickedness of the Jews (who claim to know God and follow him) and then reject God.

Forgiveness and Justification comes by faith in Jesus.

I know....I know.... it's not beautiful.
Next time I'll share the diagram i drew for my message during church yesterday.

The parable of the woman and the unfaithful pastor (not in the way you think)

2008-08-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

A lady just stopped by our house (9pm) who has only come to our Church once (5 weeks ago). We were about to put our kids to sleep when I heard the door bell, opened the door and there she was crying. I'm usually horrible at remembering people's names, but for some reason her name just popped into my head.

So I did what any person would do....I told here to go home and come back at a more decent time. She seemed a little offended, but I think she'll eventually understand. okay, I'm no serious about that part....just making sure you're really reading this post and not just skimming over it.

We let her in, paused the whole bedtime routine, and basically just sat there as this woman went over the details of her situation. We closed with a word of prayer and offered a specific way we could help and respond with action. Then she left.

A few things struck me about this occurrence. This lady has no close friends in town. none. This lady came to our church, sat through a service and we let her slip out the back door. Why? two reasons: first, we don't have an assimilation system (we don't have a strategic plan in making 1st time guest return). Second, we don't have any program or steps for this woman to get plugged into in order to build friendships. We just assume and take for granted that friendships will be made and that relationships will happen. No, they don't and won't. We need systems to get people interacting with others where friendships can be formed. The Wednesday night bible study doesn't cut it. Family night doesn't cut it.

Jesus tells a parable about the unfaithful steward. This is the story where the king gives one servant 10 talents, another servant 5 talents, and the third 1 talent. Why is it that I feel if Jesus were to return right now that he would call me an unfaithful steward?

God gave me a talent and I flushed it down the toilet.

I'm disgusted with myself.

Discontented with Power Point (part 2)

2008-08-23T21:02:00.001-07:00

In my last post I talked how Dan Roam's book has inspired me to try something different in preaching on Sunday mornings. In this post I'll talk about some of the things I like about drawing instead of using power point.

Anyone who is a great preacher will tell you that you must be able to sum up your sermon in one sentence. If you can't simplify and communicate it in once sentence than you're not ready to speak. It's not easy to do this. It takes discipline to write out the point of your sermon every week. Now imagine if you not only had to write it out, but you also had to make a diagram of it? drawing you're point forces you to focus and what you're saying. This is great for preparation. It forces you to meditate on the a passage or a truth longer than normal. It get's your brain thinking about the issues in a different light.

Also, people think in images and not in words. If you can teach a scripture through a diagram or a sketch then people don't have to translate it from words to images. Hopefully the image will stick.

Next, I'll share a few passages/concepts that I've sketched in the last few weeks.

Discontented with Power Point

2008-08-23T20:46:00.001-07:00

I've been creating power point slides for my sermons every week now for over a year. Recently, i've started evaluating the effectiveness of the slides. There are many positives with anything visual, such as keeping people's attention, helping people focus and giving more meaning to concepts and events. These are all good things to have, but I find myself discontented with the slides I've been creating.

I've been discontented because I have too many images. I try to make each slide eye catching, but there is no deep connection between all the slides. The slides/images don't build on each other. Is there a way I can have each slide build onto each other? Is there a way I can have one or two images that can hold all the truths I'm trying to teach?

I recently picked up a book that has interested me. Dan Roam wrote a book titled, "The Back of the Napkin," which talks about solving problems and selling ideas with pictures. It's a business book and is written for corporations, but can be applied to the Church and spiritual truths.

Dan made a statement that resonated with me. He said that hand drawn pictures are more meaningful and memorable than any computer generated graphics. In some ways, this book didn't do it for me. It wasn't what I thought it would be, but it did get me thinking of how I could use my hand drawn pictures to teach scripture in a more memorable way. What if I turned off the projector and drew pictures on the wall instead?

So I thought I would experiment Sunday with this. We'll see how it goes.

Next I'll talk about why this could be an effective way to teach.

You should also know that Dan Roam also said that you don't need to be artistic to do this. You just need to be able to draw basic shapes and stick figures.

"Ford" seraches

2008-08-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

Why do so many people search for "ford"?

For all you people who come to my site because you're looking for pictures of a "ford".

here you go

I hope that does something for you.

California Options? (part 2)

2008-08-20T20:42:00.000-07:00

I've talked about how I don't want to fill in on Sunday Mornings for churches without pastors while I'm in Southern California because one of my goals for this time is to be filled and refreshed. But am I going to be involved in a church?

The answer is yes. I'm not sure which church I'll be involved with. I grew up at South Bay Church of God and my parents still go there. They have already told us that they're picking up our kids and taking them to church even if we don't go. Mosaic is also near by and I'm a big fan of Erwin McManus, so I'm tempted to go to their Saturday Night service.

But I plan to do more than just attend a service. I know, I know, I've talked about how I need to be filled and how I'm running on empty right now, but I believe that the best way to experience Jesus is through obedience. One main teaching of Jesus is "to serve others." So I plan to find a place to serve. I am not going to serve in a pastoral way, but in a christian way. Whether it's setting up chairs, working with homeless, cleaning up, etc. These are areas that aren't heavy with responsibility. The great thing is that churches usually don't give strangers a lot of spiritual responsibility, which is great because that's what I'm staying away from. I don't want to teach a class, preach, or lead a small group.

Ever follower of Jesus is called to serve. This is how we live out our faith and love. without action we remain empty.

California Options?

2008-08-20T20:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't looked into this, but from the grapevine I hear that a lot of Churches in southern California are in the midst of searching for pastors. Now don't jump ahead of me here. I'm not writing to tell you that I will apply for one of those positions, because I have my heart set on Church planting right now. I'm writing all this because often times churches need intrum pastors or people who can preach on a Sunday Morning.

Jessica and I are not going to be making that much money working for my sister in California, so filling pulpits on Sunday Mornings has crossed my mind. As of now (I use this phrase because things change from day to day around here) I don't plan on filling any pulpit while I'm in California.

I have set some goals for my time away from ministry and preaching for churches goes against the main idea of my hiatus. I need some time where I don't give or minister to anybody outside my family. I feel empty right now and am desperate to be filled.

So am I going to be involved in a Church? If so, to what extent? I'll answer that question next.

MOVIE: The Golden Compass

2008-08-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I've been thinking a lot about the Golden Compass recently, but it has been shooting through my head at very strange hours of the day. When talking about the Golden Compass we can't ignore the surroundings of the Movie. first of all it was written by an atheist (Philip Pullman) in response to C.S. Lewis' series titled the Chronicles of Narnia. So the books are fill with anti-christian symbolism.

Because of that, when the movie came out in the theaters, many Christians boycotted the movie.
But not me. The film received poor reviews from critics, but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the symbolism. I agree with much of the symbolism. I haven't read the entire series, but the first movie is not against God, but the Church. The Church which is represented by the government in the movie is seen as power hungry, control freaks, apathetic, arrogant, and prideful. If we're honest with ourselves, we would agree that the history the Church has been filled with these vices. These sins are often exhibited in our own churches. Yeah, the truth hurts. Philip Pullman was right on in pointing out the flaws of the church.

Here's the funny/sad thing. Many people went to watch this movie realizing that Christians boycotted it. They'll ask themselves, "why were they boycotting this film?" and "what's the big deal?" In the end people will associate these protesting Christians with the arrogant, cruel, control freaks in the movie. They'll see the same negative traits of the government in the boycotting Christians.

I'm not a big fan of boycotting things. I think these protesting Christians did more damage furthering a bad ethos of Christians than the movie did.

There were some symbolism in the movie that I completely disagree with, but that doesn't make the movie worthy of a boycott. We should all thank Philip Pullman for creating an opportunity to enter a discussion with a non Christian about spiritual matters. We now have an open door by just asking questions like these:

Do you relate to Philips way of viewing the Church?
Have you ever seen the Church in a more positive way?
What do you think the dust represents?
What did you think of those animal demos?
Do you ever feel like you have a different voice within you?

That's just a few questions. I haven't watched the movie since I saw it in the theaters. I do remember reflecting on that movie for weeks afterwords. It gives you a lot to think about.

Future Plans (part 5)

2008-08-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

So we've talked about our hopes to plant a Church in Washington and our break from ministry by working and living in L.A next to family. Now let's talk about something else I'm looking forward to.

The beach.

Future Plans (Part 4)

2008-08-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

So we've talked about our hopes to plant a Church in Washington and our break from ministry by working and living in L.A next to family. Now let's talk about something I'm looking forward to.

I've already mentioned how excited I am to live next to my sister and brother-in-law and how ecstatic i am to live close to my parents.

But here's something else I'm excited about:

Instead of getting a land line we're going to get cell phones. And unlike Rapid City, AT&T has coverage in L.A. I finally have an excuse to buy an iphone. Awesome.

I can't wait.

Future Plans (part 3)

2008-08-19T13:03:00.001-07:00

So we've talked about our hopes to plant a Church in Washington and our break from ministry by working and living in L.A next to family. Now let's talk about some of my concerns.

First, I'm concerned that my short break will turn into a long break. I've heard of many ministers taking a break and never coming back to ministry. I'm guessing that nobody expects that to happen to them, but things happen that stick you to a certain place. Things like finances, debt, children in school, health issues, etc...

I enjoy being a pastor. I feel like I could be a better pastor than I've been the last five years and I can't go out like this. I've learned so much this last year and a half and I can't imagine God is done with me shepherding his people. I can't wait to give it another go.

The second thing I'm worried about is this whole moving process. We're going to pack our stuff and then have it stored by a company (which one? I don't know). But we need to tell them where to store it. The problem is that we don't know where we're going to move to after L.A. and we don't know how long we're going to be in L.A. What are we going to do?

The third thing that worries me is how this change will affect our kids. It's sad leaving the only world they've known. It's sad leaving all their friends. Kids are incredibly resilient, but I'm not looking forward to the questions: "Dad, when are we going back home?" or the statements: "Dad, I just want to go and see my friends."

Next I'll talk about something I'm looking forward to

Future Plans (part 2)

2008-08-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

So we've talked about our desire to plant a church in the state of Washington as well as our plan to take some time off of ministry before we plant. Next comes some important questions....the questions of how am I going to fund our break from ministry....where we're going to live...etc.

We're moving to L.A. California. Not because the crime rate is higher there than in South Dakota (thus taking care of our funding). We plan on funding our hiatus in a more legitimate way. My sister is in real estate in the L.A. area (www.theRentalGirl.com) and has an apartment we can live in for free in exchange for working for her by manging some weekly rentals. Now, my sister is a slave driver, so in no way will it be the easy life, but the responsibilities will be lighter than what I'm used to and should give me the extra time I need to achieve my goals for this break from ministry.

I'm really looking forward to living next to my sister and brother-in-law. My son loves his aunt, so he's excited. I haven't lived near my sister since my first year of college in 1999. Those were great memories. I really lover my sister. So it should be awesome. Also, My parents live about 40 minutes away (depending on traffic), so it's going to an incredible blessing to be around them. And they're looking forward to seeing their grandkids. These past five years living away from our family has really instilled a deep value and appreciation for our families. So we're excited. Not to mention the built in babysitters.

Next we'll talk about some worries or concerns I have:

Future Plans

2008-08-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

An obvious question to ask me is this: "okay Jacob, since you've now resigned what are you going to do?" If you decide to ask me that question then I would answer: "That's a good question. I wish I knew for certain." Then you would ask me: "don't you know where you're going to live...what you're going to do...how you're going to survive?" And I would answer: "Kind-of"

Maybe I should have waited until I pegged all these details down, but where would the fun be in that? There are a few reasons behind this madness. And we do have some plans, but nothing is for certain.

Our hope is to plant a church in Washington. We're working with the Pacific Northwest Association of the Church of God, who is looking to plant some churches in specific areas in the state of Washington. Of course with these things nothing is for certain. It may end up that we just don't feel right about planting in the area they would like. Or they may look at us and say, "Ha Ha Ha Ha.... You thought we wanted you to plant a Church here.... Ha ha ha ha." Okay, maybe not like that, but you get the point. Things like this are never for sure.

So why didn't I wait to resign until I knew for sure if we could go there? That's another great question. I need a break. I'm tired. I need more than just a vacation. I need some extended time off. I didn't want to jump from one area of ministry to another, but instead wanted to rest for a while. Also, if I want to plant a Church than I need to process somethings. I have to work through some of my bad habits in ministry that I've developed over the last five years. I have to work through some of my philosophies. Most importantly, I would love to have a few months with no major responsibilities and just focus on my friendship with Jesus.

If we were having a conversation then you would probably ask me: "Jacob, where are you going to live? Are you a millionaire? Can you just take time off and not work at all?" If this were a conversation I would probably answer your question, but since this is a blog, you're going to have to wait till the next post.

Resignation

2008-08-18T18:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday (August 17th, 2008) I resigned as the Pastor of First Church of God in Rapid City. Here is the video of my resignation and the letter I gave my board. I will be posting more on our plans on this blog soon.

RESIGNATION VIDEO:

Click Here To Download or View In Quicktime

RESIGNATION LETTER: Click to Enlarge

MOVIE: Mama Mia

2008-08-14T13:45:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned before, my wife and I watched this movie Tuesday. Mama Mia is about a young lady (named Sophie) who is about to get married and desperately desires her dad to give her away. The problem lies in the fact that she doesn't know who her dad is and that there are three possibilities. So she invites all three to her wedding without telling her mother.

First of all, I can't believe that I've never heard of this musical. I really enjoyed the music (especially the first three songs), but i did have one problem with the film.

If you haven't seen the film then don't read on.

At the end of the film, as Sophie and Sky are about to get married, Sophie decided (because of the growth of her character over the last two days) that she doesn't want to have a big fancy wedding, but instead wants to go to the main island and just get hitched (which is what Sky has wanted all along). She makes this announcement, the priest is shocked, Sky takes Sophie into his arms and they kiss. Everyone cheers.

Maybe I'm being a bit too critical, but I was left with a devalued impression of marriage from this film. The more I think about this the more I conclude that I may be off here, but I still can't shake it off. I'm frustrated that I can't articulate what I'm feeling. I think I would need to watch the movie one more time in order to better grasp what I interpreted from the film. But that won't happen until it comes out on video.

I'll have to think about this more. Sorry to waste your time with a post about nothing.

Learning Systems

2008-08-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

When i first came to pastor here in Rapid City there's a lot of things I've done wrong. The last five and a half years have been a learning experience. One of the things I've learned is the importance of systems. Systems for incorporating first time guest, systems for discipleship, and systems for serving. When you have systems set up that are inter-functional you end up becoming efficient and effective. Just make sure your systems are mission driven.

As i mentioned before, I've learned this a bit too late. One of the problem with established churches is that we already have programs set up. These programs can be good, but they don't work as systems. They weren't created to become a multi-step processes that can take a person down the process of becoming a disciple of Jesus.

I have spent too much time hoping and wishing people to just become better followers of Jesus. I never realized how intentional we needed to be in guiding this processes.

vague

2008-08-13T20:48:00.000-07:00

When God first came to Abram, God told him to leave his family and go to a place that God would show him. For some reason God decided to be vague. God's goal was not clarity. Usually when I hear God's voice it is clear and direct. But recently I've been feeling a lot like Abram. I've been getting a general direction from God without the specifics....without the clarity. I understand God is doing something in my life...pieces are falling together. As I look at my last 2 years and reflect on what I've heard in my times of prayer and examine that things God has been doing within me, I get a general feel of what God is doing without the specifics. Part of what I'm sensing from God is that I'm not supposed to wait for the path to become clear, but like Abram I'm to live in the ambiguity for now.

Mama Mia

2008-08-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my wife and I celebrated our 7th Wedding Anniversary. I still can't believe we've known each other for nine years. Time flies by so fast....especially since we've had kids.

We went up to spearfish to catch a play, but we forgot to check if it was playing that day. It wasn't. It was their day off. So we ended up hanging out in Spearfish. We ate dinner and watched a movie.

My wife has really wanted to watch "Mama Mia". I enjoy most musicals because I wish my life was a musical, but I was willing to wait for this movie to come out on video before I watched it. But since it was our anniversary we went.

I have a few thoughts on the movie, but I'll wait till later to post about it.

Google in Rapid City?

2008-08-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

Last week my wife and I were driving when we saw this van driving with their sliding doors open and some sort of video camera sticking out the side sliding door and the back. My only guess is that this could be a Google van taking pictures for their street view for Google Maps.

Are there any other explanations?

Maybe something for the Sturgis rally?

MOVIE: The Happening

2008-08-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

I went to watch The Happening yesterday. On the technical side of the movie there were a few things I noticed which is never good. First of all I didn't like the transitions of the move. The pace was good, but transitions bothered me. Scenes didn't flow into each other. It was like watching an episode of Law And Order on TV. One scene takes place at one time and then another scene takes place two hours later and then a third scene takes place 7 minutes later. I understand that every movie must do this, but never should it be %75 of the time. It just broke down the flow of the film a little too much.

Usually breaking the flow causes me to just watch the movie and not enter into it, but this movie did such a great job of keeping us in the unknown that it was constantly sucking me back in. It's nice to enter a move, but to enter in then get distracted then get sucked back in and then get distracted again and finally get sucked in a again gets a little old.

Then there was one scene that really bothered me. I cannot believe they let this happen. In one scene Mark Wahlberg and his wife get out of a car and there's a smoke stake behind them with smoke going up in the air. The only problem is that the smoke isn't moving....It's just a picture. Did they really not have enough money to add some digital effects for 5 seconds? I Usually don't notice details like that, but this looked too strange.

Okay, I just had to get that off my mind.

First Church of Spider-man

2008-08-06T21:18:00.000-07:00

I hope you don't feel violated, but i just recently started using an online service called GetClicky that helps me know how many people visit my blog. One of it's features is letting me know how people came to my sight whether by link, bookmark or search. If someone came to my site by a search than GetClicky tells me what they typed in.

If you're the guy (I can't imagine it being a girl) who googled, "first church of Spider-man" than I need to talk to you....

I don't know if I'm in utter shock that someone would actually be looking for a spider-man church (called First Church non the less) or if I'm in sheer excitement that there might be one out there.

So if you happen to Google "First Church of Spider-man" frequently and so you've found yourself back at my blog then please...PLEASE.... PLEASE e-mail me.

I need to know

Religous Bridges????

2008-08-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

As you can tell by my last three posts, I'm really digging the "Foreign Policy" magazine. Here's an article that caught my attention.

ARTICLE TITLE: False Prophets

DESCRIPTION: "Building bridges between Muslims, Christians, and Jews seems like a worthy goal. But, by glossing over serious differences, the organization at the forefront of interfaith dialogue confuse discussion with success-and end up leaving everyone at risk."

Geneivo Abdo discusses how agencies have decided to downplay the differences between Islam and the West and instead focus on the similarities. The result is that us Westerners feel safe and comfortable thinking that Islamic extremist are a rarity. Abdo goes on to talk about the different ways agencies are glossing over the differences.

I'm no expert in this area. I'm sure the agencies Abdo cites would argue differently, but I have to give Abdo credit, because i really don't see anybody talking about the differences between these three religions.

We're in an age where most people would like to think that all religions are basically the same and that it's only the few weirdo extremist who think differently. I'm not sure if what Abdo talks about stems from this culture or if it helped create it.

I find it funny that we are at a place where we like to celebrate our ethnic diversities, but we ignore our religious diversities. In some places those two are the same. Anyways, I think I'm going off on to many different directions.

We need to stop being intellectually lazy by not just glossing over the differences in all religions, but by examining them. There are differences. They all don't lead to the same destination.

Read, study, Examine, Analyse

Happiness & Generousity

2008-08-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

In another article from Foreign Policy titled, "Will Democracy Make You Happy," the author makes a simple point:

People get generous when they're happy and selfish when they're not

Part of the point of the article was describing how different things on this earth help us stay happy or not happy. This is why followers of Jesus should be different. Our happiness does not depend on if we're in a democracy or if we're poor or if we don't have enough money to buy everything we need. Our source of joy is Jesus.

Since our happiness does not depend on politics or economics we should always be generous people, because people get generous when they're happy.

But I wonder how true this truly is for us Christians?
How true is that for you?
How generous are you?

Hungry And In Poverty

2008-08-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article titled, "The Global Food Fight", which is found in the current issue of Global Policy. The article mentioned a few things. The first one is incredibly obvious, but I just didn't recognize it.

The poor spend half of their income on food, which will increase as food prices rise over time. As food cost go up experts estimate that 100 million people will drop below the poverty line.

100 million people.

In Rapid City and cities all over the country food banks are running low on supplies and homeless shelters are filling to capacity. I believe that during these times the Church can rise out of irrelevancy with incredible acts of generosity. The problem is that the Church is full of people struggling to buy food like everybody else. It takes faith to be generous. It's not easy to trust in God. We have to truly believe in the teachings of Jesus when he says that we should seek first the kingdom of God and his Righteousness then all these things (food, clothes) will be given to you.

If you ask me (or read your Bible) you'll find feeding the hungry as an act that flows from out of God's kingdom.

How can you be generous with the little you have?
Who can you invite over for dinner?

Favorite Blog

2008-08-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

I follow an array of blogs through my RSS reader. But today i want to share with you one of my favorites. I love pictures. I'm always looking for pictures to use in my power point slides, but I'm also always just looking at pictures. On the Boston Globe's website is a blog of high resolution pictures. the pictures are always amazing.

http://www.boston.com/bigp icture /

Here are a few thumbnails

Hungry Man

2008-08-05T11:35:00.000-07:00

My last post reminded me of a incident that happened to me before I became a pastor.

I was working as a waiter at B.J's Pizza Bar and Grill on Stark and 122nd in Portland, OR. Every day I would come into work with about $50 in small bills so that I would be prepared to give people change if they needed some. It was a slow day and about 2 hours into my shift, which in that time I had only made $4 bucks in tips, when a tall, thin, frail man walked into the store. He looked weak and tired. He was dressed decently, but his clothes were getting a bit dirty. He walked up to me and asked if I had any food I could give him. He didn't have a job or money, but he was hungry.

Everything within me told me this guy was sincere and was hungry so I went back to my manager and asked her if I could give him something to eat. She said "no." I went back to the guy and reluctantly told him that we couldn't give him any food. I thought about how much money I had made already....$4 bucks wasn't much. I needed more to survive. I needed more for rent and food.... I couldn't give up the only small amount of money I had earned.

The guy turned around and walked out the building. 15 minutes later the restaurant was slammed and I had tips flowing out of my pockets. I'll never forget that day, because I'll never forget the guilt I felt....the shame.

That day I made a few commitment to God and myself:

If God convicts me like he did earlier that day to help somebody than I will do it
I will never pawn off my responsibility to somebody else like I tried to do with my manager.
I will trust God.

Maybe later I'll tell you another story about how i ignored these principles again....

China Problems

2008-08-05T11:16:00.000-07:00

The last post I wrote had to do with immigration and how having the two classes of people was putting the country of Spain at risk. I just read an article about China. In the article a guy named Kerry Brown talked about China's weakness.

"He told Reuters that a chief weakness is deep-seated social inequality and poverty, particularly among the hundreds of millions of migrant workers "on whose sweat, blood and tears modern China is built" but who today are disenfranchised."

I'm bumbed that he didn't elaborate as to why he sees this as a weakness. I understand why I believe it is a weakness, but you can never be positive about others reasoning. Whatever the case, we all agree that inequality will destroy a country. Unfortunately, some of us in the United States still haven't grasped this. I'm not just talking about the Nazi skinheads, but I'm talking about the people I talk to everyday who look down upon others of different race or economic class. We love to dehumanize people in order to justify our thoughts and actions towards people that are different from us or people that we hate.

In Rapid City, SD a lot of people treat Native Americans as less than human. It's the same with the homeless and people in deep poverty. It's not easy treating people with the respect and dignity as you would like to be treated. Especially when they often don't treat themselves with that same level of respect.

Some of the moments I'm most ashamed of are the times I dehumanized someone in my mind in order to justify an inaction. Someone who was hungry and I did nothing. Someone who needed help and I just stood by and watched.

God, help me to create a world where there is no social inequality. Help me create an environment where I treat others as I desire to be treated.

Here's the article
http://africa.reuters.com/wire/news/usnSP127061.html

immigration

2008-08-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article from the New York Times about immigration. The article details the European methodology in order to inform us on the U.S situation. Although the article covers Europe, it mainly deals with Spain. Since 1985, Spain has run 6 legalization programs. This is where a country gives citizenship to immigrants. So Spain is responsible for one-fourth of the legalization programs in all of Europe.

What I found fascinating is a quote from the Jesús Caldera, who was in charge of the programs when he was labor minister. There were a few reasons why they ran these programs. One reason had to do with taxes. All the under-the-table workers took away tax revenue from the government and "gave lawbreaking employers a competitive edge, through lower labor costs."

But the main reason (and the reason why I'm writing this blog) has to do with a social issue. Caldera is quoted saying, "If you practice exclusion, you risk the future of your country. You risk terrorism, violence.”

I really wish Caldera would have elaborated on his reasoning. I imagine that immigrants are treated like second rate citizens (or second rate humans), which creates segregation. In the long haul, separating two groups of people creates animosity and hatred. I think we've seen this though out history. Our problems as human beings is that we don't like people who are different from us....we naturally separate from weirdos or "the others."

I appreciate what Caldera points out. I appreciate his recognition of destination that this road takes us to. If you read the letter in the Bible to the Ephesians, you'll find that one of the things Jesus accomplished with his life, death, and Resurrection is the possibility of different people of different ethnicities and social economical classes to come together as one. Jesus presents this world with the power to break down barriers and walls of hatred/animosity so that we can be friends and work together. We can be family

If we don't let Jesus do this than the future of our world is at stake.

Here's the link to the article
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/10/world/europe/10migrate.html?pagewanted=1

Lonny (part 2)

2008-07-31T19:27:00.000-07:00

Every week I go and play dice with Lonny at the Nursing home. At first I went out of obedience to Jesus. Jesus was working on transforming my heart and growing within me a love for the poor, needy, marginalized, and outcasts.

So the logical place for me to go was the nursing home. If I hated going to the nursing home then most people probably do to, which means that the people in the nursing home are outcast and emotionally needy.

So I went out of obedience and so every week I met Lonny and hung out with him by playing a game of dice. After a few months I ended up missing 3 or 4 weeks in a row. When I returned on the 5th week, I was surprised to hear what Lonny said to me...

I honestly didn't think that Lonny cared that I came. He liked playing dice and he played a lot of dice with other people living there, so I thought I was just another person he played with. I really didn't think he would notice that I missed 4 weeks.

The moment I walked through the door he said to me, "where have you been?"

It was in those 4 words that I realized our time together meant something to him. I wasn't just another person who was stuck in a nursing home with him, but I came from my house and my comfort to play dice with him.

It was at that moment I realized what I had: a friendship

Cat in the Road

2008-07-31T19:18:00.000-07:00

My wife, mother-in-law, and kids were driving down by Prairie Market when cars were swerving to miss a baby kitten on the road. My wife stopped and had her mother get out and grab the kitten.

So they brought home the kitten and everybody is growing attached to it while I'm at work. Yes, my wife is sly. My daughter has kitten love so bad that if the kitty isn't sitting on her than she starts to throw a fit.

My son wants to watch and play with the kitten all the time, yet he is surprisingly gentle.

I guess I have to be the bad guy. We're not keeping this kitten. We don't have the money to pay for the shots and upkeep of him.

Lonny

2008-07-31T15:50:00.000-07:00

Every week I visit the nursing home to play dice with a guy named Lonny. When I first started going we didn't talk much because I couldn't understand him that well. That's because Lonny had a stoke which took out the right side of his body.

As I returned each week I've noticed the improved mobility of his right side, which is very exciting. Today was a new high in my time there. Not only was Lonny moving around pretty well, but as we were playing a game of dice, Lonny's fiancee walked through the door.

Now I had no idea that Lonny was engaged or even had a girlfriend. I was shocked. It was a complete surprise to me. But as I sat there and the three of us talked, I couldn't help but notice that our conversation had gone deeper than normal. It is hard to explain, but I believe that our friendship went to another level

Lonny's parents are catholic, but he doesn't go to Mass, so I hope that I'll be able to do his wedding. I think that would be awesome. I've come to enjoy my time with Lonny and every week I look forward to kicking his butt in a game of dice

When you pray...or if you pray.... would you please talk to Jesus about Lonny and his needs.

Fun Video

2008-07-30T12:14:00.001-07:00

I don't know if this looks fun or not, but I would have to try it if I had the opportunity.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Sermon Series: In The Media (last)

2008-07-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

I've been working on this video way too long. I just have to stop. So i finally added music to my IN THE MEDIA series logo video.

I opened up garage band, plugged in my guitar and wrote a quick song. I used a garage band function to change my voice. When i started, I was going for a heavier sound, but i'm stuck with what came out.

Tell me what you think

I'll probably play the video at the beginning of the sermon each week.

I hope I didn't subconsciously rip off another song.

Spiderman 4?

2008-07-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

I went to the video store yesterday (Mr. Movies) because I had to return Chip 'N' Dale Rescue Rangers since my son can't drive and do it himself. Usually, I rent movies on Monday since they have a promotion of 99cents for any movie, but it was weird yesterday....I didn't feel like renting anything. I had two movies in my hand but then put them back when I realized that I didn't want to watch them. Weird.

I think I'm back to normal because I saw online that the script for Spiderman 4 is being witten. Spiderman has always been one of my favorite superheroes, so I hope this is true. Then I googled "Spiderman" and heard another rummor that they might shoot a Spiderman 4 and 5 at the same time. you can never trust rummors, but it did get my hopes up. Oh well.....

Maybe I am back to normal.

Sermon Series: In The Media

2008-07-28T21:08:00.001-07:00

I'm working on a video intro. I think I need to add some music.

The E Channel: Brittney Spears

2008-07-28T18:39:00.000-07:00

Jessica and I were channel surfing yesterday when we came across a celebrity biography on the E channel. After watching a minute of the show, we were hooked. My wife and I were surprised at how much we have in common with Brittney Spears.

Here's some things we learned about Brittney:

When she first became a huge pop singer and was wicked famous, Brittney had an posse of people who protected her. They made sure she looked right, she said the right things, she went to the right places. They were both protecting here and establishing a powerfully squeaky clean image.
As Brittney grew older, the pressure to uphold the Brittney Spears Pop Princess image was too much to bear. The weight was too much. Added to this was the fact that she was going through the "rebelling from authority stage".
Because she was in the spot light all the time, she didn't have anywhere safe to find out who she was. She had spent her whole life upholding a fake image, so she then went through this stage of rebelling. This is when the first crack occurred in her image. Once the world saw that she wasn't this innocent pop princess anymore everything soon came crumbling down.

After hearing this our sympathy went out to Brittney. As a Pastor and a Pastor's wife we understand the weight of having an image to uphold. It's not really who you are, but it's what everybody expects of you. It's like you're wearing a mask. It's not easy to be authentic in some Churches. Once people see that you don't live up to the their ideal pastoral image they often will criticise you and complain until you conform. Finding out who you are as a Pastor and a Pastor's wife takes time, especially in your first Church. People should give you grace and time to explore your strengths and weaknesses, but it's not always the case.

I have tried to be intentional about not holding up an image, but being authentic. I believe that authenticity is the only way to build solid relationships. And I believe that relationships are the best way to grow, encourage, and live life through. It's through relationships that we are to change the world.

I will never understand the pain and difficulty that Brittney Spears went through (or is going through) in order to leave the image behind and find herself, but it's worthy it. You can't live your whole life pretending. You have to become authentic in order to have real relationships.

Yes it was hard, but you will be better for it Brittney.

http://www.topnews.in/light/files/Britney-Spears39.jpg

New Sermon Series

2008-07-28T18:30:00.001-07:00

I'm excited about the new series we're going to start in Church next week. I tried to finish the artwork in order to announce the series yesterday, but I couldn't get it done in time. This is one of the areas I'm working on. I'm trying to get more done earlier, especially with my sermon prep.

Here's the artwork:

The idea behind the series is to look at different events/articles through a Christian worldview.

Car Insurance Commercial

2008-07-27T14:19:00.000-07:00

I'm watching T.V right now (more on what I'm watching later) when a car commercial came on. I can't remember if it was Allstate or State Farm or Farmers so I guess the commercial didn't do too good a job of that.

Anyways the commercial is the one where the young lady is going through her normal day and asking everybody (the toll bridge man, the coffee server, the librarian) which deductible she should choose. "Should I choose the $500 or the $250?" Anyways, at the end of the commercial, a priest tells here she should talk to __________ insurance agent.

I like this commercial because it has a clergy offering practical help to this young lady. Sure it's only a reference, but it's something this young lady has been stressing out over and not able to find any help. Usually, clergy aren't treated this well in the media, so hopefully it will help our image.

But wouldn't it be cool if people thought about clergy as relevant and helpful? Wouldn't it be cool if people came to us for advice for anything? I believe Jesus and the Word of God is incredibly relevant and practical. The problem is that many times we (the clergy) have made ourselves impractical and irrelevant. Our teachings and words don't help people's daily lives. I think somethings wrong with that, but maybe a commercial will inspire us.

TED talks: A.J Jacobs' (part 5-the real last post)

2008-07-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

I've done a few post on A.J. Jacobs when he spoke at TED. If you want any links go to the earlier post.

I read a comment from a religious person that was pretty harsh to A.J Jacobs. I really don't appreciate those kind of comments. Yes, Jacobs and I opperate from two different world views, but that doesn't diminish his value as a human being. I enjoyed Jacobs and his insights. It's neat how he immerses himself into his projects. Also, he just seems like a cool person (not everyone one TED does). I would love to meet him one day.

A.J. If you're ever in South Dakota let me know. I'll take you out for coffee.

God Speaks (part 2.2): The Healing

2008-07-25T11:14:00.001-07:00

Click here to read the first post
Click Here to read the second post (Background)
Click Here to read the third post (Grasping the Problem)

When Jesus woke me Wednesday morning at 2:30 and spoke into the depths of my soul, "Move on," Jesus spoke into multiple dimensions of my life. In one area it was healing and in the other it was direction. We're talking about the healing right now.

Even though God was working on my heart I still felt the frustration every time I prayed. Every time I prayed I hated that I couldn't trust my motives. Am I really praying for a heart change or do I just want God to restore me so I could have his blessings. Just recently these frustrations were growing bigger and bigger till I just tried to ignore God for a while. Oh, I would talk to him, but often I would ignore him. You know what they say, "Absence grows the heart fonder." But really I was just frustrated.

So when God woke me Wednesday morning and spoke into my heart "move on" i believe he moved me on. I was stuck in a place of frustration and he moved me on. I can't explain exactly what happened, but my time with God is different. It's a relief. Do i still struggles with the motives of my heart? yes. But God has moved me past my broken thinking and theology so that I can come to Him and trust Him.

God Speaks (part 2.2): Grasping the Problem

2008-07-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

Click here to read the first post
Click Here to read the second post

When Jesus woke me Wednesday morning at 2:30 and spoke into the depths of my soul, "Move on," Jesus spoke into multiple dimensions of my life. In one area it was healing and in the other it was direction. We're talking about the healing right now.

So much of my sin had/has to do with my reputation and how other's view me. That's why I had to publish that last post, because it goes against everything I was and flows into everything I want to be.

Over the past year this scripture has stuck with me. I pull it out and wrestle with it every time. As I grew up I learned that God is a God who blesses. When you're obedient to him His goodness will rest upon you. He will give you strength and wisdom in every situation you face. I don't know how it happens but I lost focus as to why I follow God. Do I follow him because of who he is or because of what he can do for me? My thoughts would go like this. If I study scripture and pray to God then He'll bless my ministry and my sermons and so on.

Now, imagine you're me for a moment and you realize this about yourself. How do you get out of this? I can't do it on my own, but I can't pray to God because I can't trust my motives. I can pray God to change my heart, but my motives would be so that I could get back into God's favor and blessing. The problem was in my heart and I couldn't even trust my prayers.

I ended up praying anyways. "Jesus, you know my heart. You've got to do something about it."

God answered my prayers and began to guide me to acts of service and love in order to change my heart, but that does not mean that I still don't struggle with my motives.

In my next post I'll talk about God's healing.

God Speaks (part 2.1): Background

2008-07-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

Click here to read the first post

When Jesus woke me Wednesday morning at 2:30 and spoke into the depths of my soul, "Move on," Jesus spoke into multiple dimensions of my life. In one area it was healing and in the other it was direction. Let me talk about the healing aspect first.

Over a year ago I was reading a passage in Acts 8 about Simon the Sorcerer when God opened my eyes and heart in order to reveal something about me. For now, I'll list the scripture and my notes as I wrote them over a year ago. my notes are me trying to work through what I God was showing me at the time. I think this past year has helped clarify what God was showing me, but for now let's just look my initial processing the information.

Scripture in Blue. I will CAP the words or phrases that jumped out at me. My thoughts in Red

ACTS 8:9-25
9Now for some time a man named Simon had practiced sorcery in the city and amazed all the people of Samaria. HE BOASTED THAT HE WAS SOMEONE GREAT,

I want people to like me. I want to be viewed highly upon. I want people to think I'm great

10and all the people, both high and low, GAVE HIM THEIR ATTENTION and exclaimed, "This man is the DIVINE POWER KNOWN AS THE GREAT POWER ."

I want people's attention and respect. I want people looking at me. I want people to view me as special and uniquely different in a positive way.

11They followed him because he had amazed them for a long time with his magic. 12But when they believed Philip as he preached the good news of the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. 13Simon himself believed and was baptized. And HE FOLLOWED PHILIP EVERYWHERE, ASTONISHED BY THE GREAT SIGNS AND MIRACLES HE SAW.

I realize that I'm not as great as I want to appear. There's something greater than I that I'm enamored with. It shows me (by just being) that all I have and can do is nothing compared to it (the Spirit of God)

14When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God, they sent Peter and John to them. 15When they arrived, they prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit, 16because the Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them; they had simply been baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. 17Then Peter and John placed their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.

18When Simon SAW THAT THE SPIRIT WAS GIVEN AT THE LAYING ON OF THE APOSTLES' HANDS , HE OFFERED THEM MONEY 19AND SAID, "GIVE ME ALSO THIS ABILITY SO THAT EVERYONE ON WHOM I LAY MY HANDS MAY RECEIVE THE HOLY SPIRIT."

I too want the power of the Spirit of God for the wrong reasons. I want to impress others, to be viewed as great. I too want the power of the Spirit without giving my heart. I may not offer money, but I'll offer good deeds.

20Peter answered: "May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! 21YOU HAVE NO PART OR SHARE IN THIS MINISTRY, BECAUSE YOUR HEART IS NOT RIGHT BEFORE GOD. 22REPENT of this wickedness AND PRAY to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. 23For I SEE THAT YOU ARE FULL OF BITTERNESS AND CAPTIVE TO SIN."

Am I full of bitterness? Why do I want to be great? Am I full of sin?

Since I want to use God to increase my greatness, thus my heart not being right, do I have a part in this ministry? Is this God's voice telling me to step down?

Am I so messed up at the core of me that all my actions, thoughts, and desires are compromised by evil?

Is this the root? Do I need to confess something or do I need healing? Confess my sins, but healing from what caused me to harbor bitterness. What bitterness is in my heart? Why is it there? What is it from? God show me.

I always thought that i would leave this ministry because of the church being willing to be obedient to God, but maybe I was blaming them and ignoring my faults. Maybe I'm more messed up than I want to realize. Maybe what will cause me to leave here is my own sin and bitterness. It's not them, it's me. I was so much pursing and focusing on them and their faults that I didn't see my own problems.

24Then Simon answered, "PRAY TO THE LORD FOR ME SO THAT NOTHING YOU HAVE SAID MAY HAPPEN TO ME."

Can I even trust my prayers. Even they are tainted. Is my burning desire really for God to heal me or does it form out of selfishness to be restored so that I can continue in Gods favor and grow my reputation

Everything is wrong: my motives and my actions. I can't even trust my own prayers because my own wickedness may come out and taint my prayers. My prayers may even be from my own wickedness. I need somebody else to pray for me cuz I can't trust myself

25When they had testified and proclaimed the word of the Lord, PETER AND JOHN RETURNED TO JERUSALEM, preaching the gospel in many Samaritan villages.

What happened to Simon? Was he restored? Maybe nothing. Transformation takes time. The turning of evil desires to good is a process. What will happen to Simon? What will happen to me?

In my next post I'll talk about how God has clarified my issues. Then we'll talk about his healing...

TED talks: A.J Jacobs' (part 4-last)

2008-07-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a series of post on A.J. Jacobs who spoke at TED about his experiment of living Biblically for one year.

The last lesson I want to talk about from A.J Jacobs is "Thou Shalt Be Reverent." Even though he's an agnostic he sees the value of holding somethings sacred. One of the laws that he holds sacred and valued the most during his year of living biblically was keeping the Sabbath day holy. He mentioned that he is a workaholic so following this command changed him the most. He didn't go into detail as to how or what exactly it did, but he left the impression that it was huge.

My worldview is that God created us and that he knows our inner-workings more than anybody. His laws are not to restrict us or to keep us from having fun, but help guide us in the best possible way to live. Jesus came to give us life to its fullest. I love what Rob Bell once said: "I follow Jesus because I believe the ways of Jesus are the best ways to live."

To watch the A.J. Adams talk at TED click here

TED talks: A.J Jacobs' (part 3)

2008-07-24T17:44:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a series of post on A.J. Jacobs who spoke at TED about his experiment of living Biblically for one year.

Another lesson Jacobs expresses that he learned was "Thou Shalt Not Stereotype." Jacobs admitted that he had many preconceived notions of what an evangelical Christian is, but during the year as he spent time with many different faith groups he realized how wide and varied the evangelical movement is.

It is no surprise that many people have a negative view of Christians. The ones that make the most noise are usually the crazy ones. They one's protesting, shooting abortion doctors, or blaming our nations tragedies on homosexuals are the ones who get a spot on the news. I think what this shows us is that we need to be crazy on the other side of the spectrum. Show crazy love, crazy grace, crazy servanthood. Perhaps this is the only way to take back and redefine what it means to be a Christian.

What I love about this talk was how Jacobs expressed incredible admiration for two Christian leaders: Jim Wallis and Tony Campollo. Even though he doesn't agree with their worldview, he respects them greatly. Perhaps if every Christian was on a mission like these two, the world would take notice and have a new way of viewing Christians.

To watch the A.J. Adams talk at TED click here

Ford

2008-07-24T16:56:00.001-07:00

I was listening to NPR when I heard that Ford had one of their worst quarters ever. The commentator mentioned that the auto market is very volatile right now and that in order to stay in business Ford must stay agile and keep the ability to quickly adapt however needed. So apparently Ford will begin to use one of their truck making factories to build small vehicles in attempt to stay relevant to consumers.

It wasn't until the last few years that I realized (or was informed and then saw how true it was) that Churches needs to take on the strategy of this commentator. I don't have time to get into it now, because my wife is wanting me to come home because she has a pizza in the oven and my son is getting impatient, but their has been a lot written about this already (by better writers and thinkers than myself)

This is also true as an individual. I think it is natural to want to settle down and find a routine that is comfortable and enjoyable. It's easiest to have a factory to build large trucks. It's more challenging to have to adapt. So most of us like a comfortable routine. Most of us don't live expecting God to speak into our lives. Most of us really don't want God to speak into our lives. Why? When God speaks it usually involves an action. Often it involves change. To stay agile and ready to move is to stay ready to hear the voice of God.

When was the last time God's word caused you to change your routine?

Train in Hair

2008-07-24T08:07:00.001-07:00

My daughter was playing with Spencer, who is a train in the Thomas the Train series.

Spencer has a motor and runs on the train all by himself. So my daughter had the motor on and was just playing with Spencer when she decided to put his wills up to her hair. Her hair got caught in the wheels and Spencer was stuck. So i, being the great parent that I am, decided to help her and untangle Spencer. For a while she just sat there and let me work, but soon the pain of me pulling on her hair became too much so she decided to just walk away. She though she could just walk away from the pain, but all she did was make me let go so that Spencer was hanging from her hair. She soon realized that she couldn't just walk away from the pain, but that she needed me to help untangle her.

What pain are you trying to walk away from?

Who do you need to ask help from?

God Speaks

2008-07-23T03:20:00.000-07:00

It's 4:24 in the morning.

I woke up at 2:30 and haven't been able to get back to sleep. This never happens to me.

I don't like it whenever someone takes any abnormal situation and attributes it to God, but I would argue that the reason I'm still up is because of God.

I heard something this morning. Not an audible voice, but a voice in my soul: "move on"

What does that mean you ask? I have a few ideas...

China & The Olympics

2008-07-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

The Olympics are about to begin in China and I'm amazed at the PR work China has been attempting over the last couple of years. There's always something in the news about how China is cleaning up something. I've read about their working on their smog, toilets, traffic, video pirating, demonstrators. The only negatives i've heard about recently has to do with Tibet.

What amazes me is how affective peer pressure is. China appears to have bent over backwards on many occasions to make these Olympics the best ever.

But their compliance isn't only in the Olympics. When the poisonous dog food came out of China or any of their non-safe products, they have shown an incredible amount of zeal to fix their problems. Of course this has to do with money. They don't want to make their customers unhappy and have them shop somewhere else.

Anyways...as the world gets smaller (globalization), the countries become interconnected and interdependent for resources and customers. As we become a smaller world one or several countries grow in influence. I know I wasn't alive back then, but can you imagine China bending backwards for the worlds demands 30 years ago? Can you imagine them caring so much about their image?

The scary thing about the world getting smaller and becoming interdependent is that you have more to lose if you're rejected. But the positive are all the unimaginable possibilities of what you can accomplish.

This understanding of countries also breaks down to individuals. Some people will isolate themselves from others, because the risk of becoming interdependent is too great. Maybe you've been hurt and someone has pulled away from you. Unfortunately, people who live isolated lives miss something great. People who are too scared to let people know who they are and then actually need someone else miss the fullness/completeness we were created for.

What if there was a group of people who were known as accepting, loving, and embracing anybody. What if there was a group of people who would never turn anybody away? What could be done? What new life would people find?

I just pray that the church becomes the people they're supposed to be.

TED talks: A.J Jacobs' (part 2)

2008-07-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

If you don't know what TED is then go here.

A.J. Jacobs is an agnostic who did a year experiment of following the Bible literally. He didn't shave his beard. He came close to stoning an adulterer. Etc...

One of the lessons A.J. learned was how much a better person he became by pretending to be a better person. As he followed the laws of scripture, he found that his behavior changed the inside of him (his heart).

It was quite funny when he referred to how science has proven this as true and then talk about how, amazingly, the Bible teaches this too. He quotes a proverb how if you smile you will be happy and talked about how behavior will change how one feels.

I was amuzed at how surprised he was in the validity of scripture. But what I really appreciate is his conclusion that following God's word (even if you're not a Christian) made him a better person.

To watch A.J Jacobs TED talk click here
(http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/a_j_jacobs_year_of_living_biblically.html)

TED talks: A.J Jacobs' (part 1)

2008-07-21T20:58:00.000-07:00

If you don't know what TED is then go here.

A.J. Jacobs is an agnostic who did a year experiment of following the Bible literally. He didn't shave his beard. He came close to stoning an adulterer. Etc...

There's a lot to unpack in this 20 talk Jacobs gives. A.J spends a few minutes explaining his personality and why he did this experiment and then he closes with some lessons he learned. Even though he remains an Agnostic, i was thrilled to hear his conclusions and the lessons he learned. One of the comments left by a religious person totally wrote off A.J as an idiot, but i totally disagree.

I'll spend a few post talking about this talk.

One of his conclusions was "Thou shalt not take the Bible Literally". His reason for this conclusion has to do with the impossibility of ever living up to all the laws in the Bible. It's impossible, He says. I think I remember Paul saying something like that too. The only difference is that Paul looks to Christ to reconcile mankind's inability while A.J looks to cafeteria religion.

I can't wait till i have time to get to the rest

To watch A.J Jacobs TED talk click here
(http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/a_j_jacobs_year_of_living_biblically.html)

MOVIE: Batman (part 2)

2008-07-20T21:24:00.000-07:00

One of the sayings we hear from both Harvey Dent and Bruce Wayne in the movie "The Dark Night" is "Either you'll die the hero or live to become the villain."

My first thought was to question whether there's any validity to the statement. I'm a pastor, so i quickly scan some historic figures from the scripture. I immediately think of David, who was the hero but then committed adultery. I think of Solomon, who was the wisest man on earth, yet his downfall was his many wives. Moses? He led the Israelites out of slavery, but then fell to pride. How about King Saul? Judas?

I can quickly think of people who died a hero: Martin Luther King JR. Abraham Lincoln. But the longer I think about it the more problems arise. What about Peter? What about the eleven disciples that even though they all ran when Jesus was arrested, they just about all were killed for their affiliation to him.

Maybe this saying from the movie is a reminder that with success comes the trap of pride and arrogance. The beautiful thing about Jesus is that even if you become a villain you still have the opportunity to become a hero again.